“Falling in love” is such a strange thing. There are no rules for it really it can happen to anyone at anytime. Some people “fall in love” very quickly, for others it takes a bit longer. But what do I mean by “falling in love?”
It can mean different things for different people. When I say “falling in love” I mean times when we feel strong affection to somebody, we feel joy and excitement while being with that person, we feel safe and a desire to know them more and spend more time with them. “Falling in love” in my understanding is strong feeling of attraction to somebody.
Being “in love” is quite different from “loving” someone. For when you love someone you think always of them before yourself, of their good before your own. To love means to decide, to commit.
I heard a great question not long time ago. “How do you know you love someone? How can we measure true love?” If you would ask a question: “How do you know you are “in love” with someone?”The answer would probably be what I mentioned above. You feel it.
But how do we measure real love? I think that it is possible only through a sacrifice, and through self-denial. How much I am willing to sacrifice is how much I love.
In one of my favourite films “The knight’s tale”, William is challenged in love. To prove his love he has to lose in a big tournament of Jousting. And although all he wants and what he lives for is to win, he gives up his own desires and he decides to lose because of his love to Jocelyn.
I believe that this is so forgotten in our culture. Today we get all we want. We are a culture that forgot to love truly, a knight-less culture.
Will I give in to my desires, become enslaved by them, or will I love and decide to give up my desires for the sake of others?
In our foundation year, if we “fall in love” we are not allowed to say to the other person about it. For we focus on God totally that year.
I believe that that is actually the best place to “fall in love”, for you can practice self-denial and self-control for 10 months. As a missionary I am living very intense way of life and spend most of my energies on the work I do. As a man I can “fall in love” very easily. But knowing that I won’t have enough time for relationship I have to decide to give up those desires for the sake of God and others. Which means loving God and loving others and choosing what is best for them. It is the best school of life. For if we never do that in our lives before we get married it will become very difficult later on in our married or religious lives if we “fall in love” with somebody else. For that is what happens probably to everyone at some point of our lives. That is normal, natural thing.
So I challenge anyone and everyone to spend at least 10 months without relationship and you’ll see for yourself if you are master of your desires or if your desires master you. And through it you will learn something that will be as gold in the rest of your life.