Forgiveness is really hard thing. I believe that each and everyone of us got hurt on our journey through life, and each one of us had to face the reality of forgiveness.
Well here I have few thoughts what forgiveness means to me.
Once someone spread a lie about me and because of that I lost a friend. If that person would come with their sorry, I would forgive them. I wouldn’t probably feel like forgiving, for I would feel hurt, but forgiveness is not about feelings so I would decide to forgive, for unforgiveness is like drinking poison hoping that the other person dies.
If the same person hurts me again, I cannot bring up the last incident for that is forgiven. I have to take this time as a first time and decide to forgive. If I talk about it with others I did not forgive it in the first place. Instead I would possibly turn other people against that person.
Forgiveness is when you say: “I forgive you, I will never use it against you in the future, I will never speak of it again to you or anybody else.”
There still remain some feelings behind; feeling of mistrust, anger, disappointment. When those feelings come we have to decide again and again – “I forgive. I am not going to act upon it.”
This kind of forgiveness seems to be impossible and it is very hard, but I believe that this is the kind of forgiveness that Jesus meant when he said: “forgive seventy-times seven.” And from my own experience of trying to live that for last five years I have to say that it is real, and it is great and nothing can give me more peace than knowledge that I have a choice to forgive and I have strength to forgive through the grace of God.
Which leads me to thinking; when God forgives us through the sacrament of reconciliation He says: “I will never bring that up against you, I won’t ever mention it again.”
I use to think that when I die God will show me all my mistakes, my sins and all the good deeds and I’ll hope that my goods overweight my sins, but that won’t be truth, for if God forgave it, He’ll never use it against me, He will never bring it up. He will know about it, it may still hurt Him, but He will not act upon it. That is what this bible quote means to me: “As far as the east is from the west, that’s how far He has removed our sins from us.”
How great a gift it is, how great a grace. Lord, give us strength to forgive always.